There’s one thing these homeowners did right in their home listings — they made them entertaining. Unfortunately for them, the laughs are at their expense.
These 11 home listings boast some of the most awful and awkward photos we’ve come across yet. From tacky wall decor to a bizarre horse collection, these listings will truly have you saying, “Now I’ve seen it all.” Once you see them, you can’t unsee them. You’ve been cautioned!
1. Kids negotiable
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
Our first listing hails out of Elmore, AL and features a “wonderful home with 4 complete bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and an office that could be another room due to size.” The accompanying photos — most of which were aligned sideways — include such gaffes as the homeowner’s reflection caught in a bathroom mirror, an unacceptably messy living room, and an oddly misplaced toddler.
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
Still, we’re wondering why the homeowner didn’t photograph the office space after such a build-up in their listing description. We couldn’t help but feel cheated by this listing.
2. This listing has all its ducks…
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
The homeowner of this fully-furnished home in Shelby, AL tempts promises that “perfect lake nights happen here.” The three-bedroom, two-bath home sits on a lake front and is a dream for the fisherman in us all. The included home furnishings appear a bit outdated, despite the home itself receiving multiple “recent” upgrades and updates.
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
Still, the outdoor action shot of a row of ducks on the lake managed to tickle our funny bones, not to mention the wall-mounted fish that resemble something you might find hanging on the wall of your favorite pub. You know, the singing bass?
3. Wibbly-wobbly time travel stuff
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
This Wetumpka, AL listing features an assortment of photos dating back to November 2013. It’s unclear if the three-bedroom home has seen any updates or upgrades since, or if the “big” living room and dining room combo is still perfect for “intertaining.” More pressing, we’re wondering if the homeowner has emptied the dishwasher yet or not. These are the thoughts that keep us up late at night.
4. Make me an offer I can’t refuse
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
Judging by the photos, the homeowner of this three-bedroom Hoover, AL home is clearly a movie buff. A framed Marlon Brando poster hangs in the rec room and a large print of legendary film director Alfred Hitchcock adorns a wall in one of the home’s bedrooms. We noticed a tad bit of irony here — Hitch is photographed with one of his famed “birds,” while on a neighboring wall a bird is artfully depicted locked in a cage. We’re not sure what the homeowner was getting it with their vision, but we liked their style. We’d like to make them an offer on their home they can’t refuse, as Brando famously said.
5. Almost, but not quite
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
Our next listing hails from Sylacauga, AL, and is billed as an ideal set-up for a large family or live-in in-laws. The five-bedroom, three-bath 3,334-square-foot home recently was completely remodeled. The homeowner further allures us with promises of “coffee on the front covered porch in the morning for sunrise and cocktails on the rear elevated deck for beautiful sunsets,” but doesn’t say who will be serving said beverages. Our favorite moment in this listing comes courtesy of the homeowner’s thumb making an appearance in an otherwise acceptable exterior picture of the home.
6. Everything but the kitchen sink
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
This Buffalo, WY listing features a three-bedroom, two-bath “beautifully cared for log sided home with wrap around porch.” The 1,260 square foot home boasts new fencing and a working well. The cluttered kitchen wasn’t listing as a selling point, nor was the homeowner’s strange collection of toy horses.
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
We’re curious if the horses were also beautifully cared for, or neigh.
7. A lovely shade of retina-burning lime
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
This listing from Cody, WY is billed by the homeowner as “great for country living at its finest.” The 1,000-square-foot, three-bedroom home sits on nearly two acres of lands and includes mature apple trees. However, it also boasts one of the most hideous bathrooms we’ve ever seen. It looks as though the nauseating shade of lime might just glow in the dark or be the result of a toxic accident.
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
The kitchen is equally disconcerting thanks to the misguided placement of a washing machine that makes cabinet access nearly impossible. Organic apples or not, we’ll pass on this one.
8. A little inspiration on a chilly winter night?
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
This two-bedroom cottage in Harbor Springs, MI boasts a stone island with granite countertops, and “old fashioned” sink and custom cabinetry. A built-in sound system lets you unwind to your favorite tunes anywhere in the 1,600-square-foot home. But our favorite amenity is the reading material the homeowners provided in one of the bedrooms, perfect for snuggling on a cold winter’s night. Who says romance is dead?
9. Keep calm and replace the TP!
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
This Zionsville, IN four-bedroom, three-bath home is an “absolute dream,” says its homeowners. It features a “gorgeous” kitchen, “elegant” living room and dining room, as well as a basement that “will drive away your winter blues” — although we’re not exactly sure how. However, for all its charms, nothing makes us more nervous than a bathroom with a nearly empty roll of toilet paper. There’s literally nothing more panic-inducing than reaching for toilet tissue and being greeted instead by a cardboard insert. Not cool, homeowners!
10. A picture of a picture is worth…? “Nothing.”
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
Our next listing features a three-bedroom farmhouse in Lebanon, IN. The homeowner does a precise job of breaking down where the 2,600 square feet go, for example: “1586 mail level with large kitchen dinning area open to living room.” Additionally, the home’s barn area has “plenty of room for all off your toys or equipment.” But instead of dazzling us with a plethora of photos, the homeowner instead chose to give us photos of photos — well, inkjet computer printouts, to be exact.
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
And a charming screenshot. Seems totally legit though, right?
11. Nowhere to hide
Photo: forsalebyowner.com
Our final listing comes out of Indianapolis, IN, and features a 1,170-square-foot, three-bedroom and one-bath home. It’s a mere 10 minutes from downtown Indianapolis, was freshly painted and its sole bathroom boasts a brand new tub and wall unit. And, if you look closely at the home’s photos, you can catch a glimpse of the homeowner themself. We’ve said it before, and will no doubt say it again, but always check your reflective surfaces before uploading to the interwebs!
